Exactly 3 years ago, a 30 year old man and ex con from Montrose, Colorado was arrested and sent to a jail for causing an accident after being found guilty and charged for drunk driving.
During his 3 year prison stay he refused to shave his beard and cut his hair. 3 years later, when he was released and went to live in the mountains of Colorado after being ashamed of what he had done.
After a brief period of stay he decided to return back to civilisation. “The mountain life sucked. I cant stay away from humanity. I thought I could pull it off after having stayed in Jail for over 3 years.” Lucas told us in an interview.
While descending from the mountain, people of nearby Montrose saw a man and assumed it to be Jesus returning from heaving after not hearing anything from him for more than 2000 years.
“I saw someone descend from the mountains wearing a white long robe. I thought it was Jesus. It was a brief moment of joy. So I shouted the saviour has returned! the saviour has returned! our lord and saviour has returned! Rejoice! and people started giving me weird looks. So I pointed out in the direction and everyone was amazed. They all began to shout and sing hymns and began saying prayers.” said Ned Edcurd an evangelical christian.
“When I returned, people started worshipping and began crying. They were all saying Jesus! Jesus! I was like what the heck? Then some idiot said you’re our saviour my lord. To which I replied y’all are retards. I aint no Jesus fools. There was silence. Total silence. Everyone started moving away and I went back home. Later I realised, I could’ve asked these imbeciles donations and become rich. It didn’t occur to me as I was no longer a con artists.” said Lucas.
“We were shocked. We expected Christs words to be something else other than what the heck? and a few offensive words”. said another lady who witnessed the scene.